A great debate in the Church today is the rise of single adults in the church. Marriage & Celibacy are both high callings in the Spiritual life, both require sacrifice, and what’s good for one is not good for the other. I’ve learned over the last year though that you can have a single-minded devotion to God and be married. In fact that’s the only way to make a marriage work. Focus on God and He will live thru you and be the person you need to be to your spouse. Your devotion to God could sanctify your mate if they are not believers and they will come to faith because of your faith in God. We are only responsible for ourselves in ou relationship to the Almighty but we are responible to the people He puts in our lives, to serve them and pray for them. As far as being single, there are many singles who should find a mate, unless you sincerely feel the call to singleness & celibacy, in which case God will remove your sexual desires because sexual sins are the most disastrous in the christian life. Here are some likely reasons why many christians are single late in life:
1) Beginning your relationship with God late in life. Many christians who have lasting marriages at a young age grew up in the church and developed a vibrant relationship with God during the adolescent years.
2) Some have life-controlling issues that would hinder a relationship if they were in one. Such as inability to commit which is common in many churches nowadays if you look at young adults and singles ministries. After they get out of high school, many college students and young professionals stray away from God for many years and get lost in the world.
3) Many are called to find a mate but doubt the call on their life because other brothers & sisters who are single tell them it’s just a human desire and it’ll go away as you focus on God.
4) Failure to step out in faith and actually look for a mate-i.e.; trusting God to do everything for you without any human responsibility.
5) Unable to date because one has tends to move too far too fast and ends up fornicating. This applies to any area of life. If you don’t have to freedom to do something without sinning then God will appear more rigid with you because He won’t allow you to do anything that will lead you into sin.
6) Not putting God first and seeking Him above all else to become the person you need to be in a relationship.
7) Being so focused on God that you don’t actually look for a mate. This can be good if you’re actually renouncing marriage for the sake of the Kingdom but if you’re so focused on God that you’re repressing desires that aren’t necessarily sinful it can lead to depression.
In closing, remember my life verse, Psalm 37:4. ..”Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desire of your heart.” This doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want but you should give up any desires that aren’t in keeping with God’s Word and ask for His plan for you life so you can step out in faith and do pursue what He wants for you. Seek Him first and all else will be added but you still have to factor in human responsibility.