Have you found yourself? Most people haven’t. Most people don’t know God. Coincidence? No! In order to know who you are and what you want out of life you have to get to know the one who formed you and knows the real you because He created you. Because He gives us and independent spirit and the evil in the world this does not come naturally. It comes supernaturally through divine revelation. The more you learn about God, the more you get to know your true identity in His Son, the more you get to know your true self-who you were created to be. How do you enter into this relationship? By turning from selfish ways that only serve to gratify the flesh and turn your life over to God. Doing things His way rather than following after the ways of the world. By believing in the sacrifice He provided as atonement for all of your wrongdoing. By being filled with the Spirit which enables you to persevere in the faith because Jesus said only those who persevere till the end will be saved (Matt. 24:13). This does not mean you are saved by your works but your works are affected if you have faith. Faith is the primary motivator for to have faith in God is to believe that He is and is a rewarder to those that diligently seek Him (Hebrews 11:6). Faith-alone is true to a point but is dead if not made manifest in your good deeds. “So that they will see your good deeds (done in faith) and glorify your Father who are in Heaven.” (Matt. 5:16). “If you do not stand firm in your faith you will not stand at all.” (Isa. 7:9). As far as losing your salvation, God can work things out for the good of those that love Him to keep them from falling away. You would have to renounce your faith totally and completely and this is nearly impossible to those that have fallen in love with their Lord. But I say nearly because if you could use the doctrine of eternal security to justify “a little fun here and there” and end up in a backslidden state which could harden your heart against God. Playing with fire, buddy. If you truly love Him you will eventually come back and He has the power to make it happen but He won’t force you.
Most never find their true purpose in life, coincidentally about 80% if hate their vocations, because they have come to God/Jesus by faith, trusting in His plan for their lives, because they arent’ ready to give their lives and all it’s problems to a loving Heavenly Father. The same reason why many don’t go to a doctor when they are sick. Sin is not a sickness-it’s a lifestyle choice of choosing not to trust in God but rather in yourself. Because we were not made to establish our own righteousness (filthy rags compared to God’s) the way of the transgressor is hard and it produces many of society’s ailments which mostly result from stress & anxiety, hormone imbalances, and alas mental illnesses because everything starts in the mind. God wants your heart but Satan goes for you mind.
Many have come to God but don’t grow in their faith. They’ve either never been discipled by a mature believer or a church (which could brainwash you according to their doctrine if you don’t seek God for yourself), or they have faulty theology (like Calvinism which thinks God just miraculously does everything in His timing and doesn’t factor in human responsibility-while they’re waiting on Him, He’s waiting on them to step out with the faith He’s already given them). The greatest mystery of life is God’s absolute sovereignty and man’s free will. In a theology book by Wayne Grudem, he defended his calvinistic viewpoints but explained the other side as well. Man ultimately does what he wants-it just depends on where God is at in his life. So to end the age old debate-just step back and realize those theological differences you’re arguing with you’re subconsciously agreeing with if you think about it. Like my counselor says, both sides are actually friends and don’t even realize it. Jesus doesn’t only want to be your Lord, He wants to be your Friend. He says in John 15:15, a friend (as opposed to just a servant) knows his master’s business. Do you know your Master’s business? Do you know Him? Is He changing you? You don’t grow by seeking biblical knowledge. We don’t need anymore knowledge. You grow from a deepening relationship in which God takes you through life’s trials and learn to depend on Him more than ever (just like Jesus).
In Proverbs it says something to the effect that kisses are multiplied by enemies and a brother is born for adversity. People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Some people will support you through the hard times; some will be sincerely caring, while others will do it simply just to fill a void in their life and not out of love. Only God knows the difference.
In the flipside, many will flock to you when you are prospering; mostly just to see what they can get out of you, but your true friends will encourage you in your endeavours, while others will shoot you down. These latter types are usually intimidated by you and very insecure in themselves. It’s also a form of adversity that God will use to keep you humbly dependent on Him as your pursue that which He has for you.
The theme of the popular Christmas movie, It’s a Wonderful Life, is “no man is a failure who has friends.” I believe it was my earthly father and a college/career pastor who once said you are rich if you only have two true friends in your entire life. If you have more than that, you are loaded even if you are dirt poor and sweeping floors at McD’s.
To clarify there is only one soul mate you will ever have or ever need. He’s the One who created you, and gave His life for you. Hence the words, “soul” mate. Whether you commit to marriage or celibacy is entirely your decision but you should seek wise council, first and foremost with your Heavenly Father. You have to look for the right person to settle down with but only God can draw two people together. But He wants to have first place in your life so marriage isn’t good for you if it’s an idol. Because human love is so conditional, He’s the only pure and true love a person will experience. However many will never experience this loving relationship because their hearts have been hardened by sin in their life. The sad thing is, it’s not necessarily their sin. It’s sins done to them such as trauma at a young age. Celibacy is just as big a commitment, better if you can do it but don’t force yourself if you desire a mate. Marriage can only work if both parties can maintain a singleminded devotion to God. The word “single” in 1 Corinthians 7 simply means single-minded and it’s something everybody should have regardless of marital status. Because Jesus taught that there would be no marriage in the kingdom of heaven, God’s calling for you life has nothing to do with your marital status. But if you desire marriage and can keep it from distracting you from His call, then go for it. Even if you go through a divorce and happen to fall in love again. I’ve learned over the years from believers who have been divorced that when Jesus said whoever remarries commits adultery that it means breaking the connection and reestablishing a new one with your new mate. The only way the 2nd marriage will work is if you worked through whatever issues killed the 1st marriage. However if you use that teaching and go and get married 3 or 4 times then that shows you may have an underlying issue to bring to the throne of grace. If you have two failed marriages you either have really bad luck with the opposite sex or something you are not dealing with. However I have known a few christians who have taken a 3rd wife. My dad was one and he was a good example growing up. 25 years with two of them and the last few with the third before he passed on good friday 2005 at 76 and he loved them all the same because God loves us all the same. I knew God was teaching me something thru sister wives and Kody Brown. LOL. If bigemy was legal. . .I would have to work more but for reasons other than income. Now that I feel set free from social anxiety, I’m glad I was shy growing up because it may have protected the ladies from me since I may quite possible have my dad’s charm. Could be a generational curse or a blessing, you think? Anyway, I may have missed out on the best years of my life due to social anxiety but thanks to social media sites like Facebook I may get a chance to fix that by the grace of God.
When you come to a point in your life when you realize that God is the only one you can trust, that would be a defining moment. One sign of a true believer and worshipper of God is that the person loves God and desires a relationship with Him first and foremost, secondly that they love the people God puts in their lives. Many nowadays don’t help people like they used to. The obvious reason is that everybody has been burned by at least one or more people in their life. It’s not just our individual sin that can harden our hearts against God-it’s the sins that others do to us that make us reluctant to trust God and others. Jesus died for the sins done to you as well. There are seven billion people in the world by now. On a positive note, if there was greater unity in the church and we all stepped out in faith and were set free from all “life-controlling issues” and gave ourselves completely to God (#1 is we would be perfect, #2 is the church would be a better example and win more followers/worshippers). On one hand, people are going to do what they’re going to do unless God gets ahold of them; on the other, God is not going to get ahold of them unless they really want Him in their life. However our actions can have an influence on that. When we profess to know God and mistreat somebody that can damage the other person and harden their hearts against ever having a life changing relationship with their Creator and their Father. So how do you know who you’re true family and friends are? Jesus said His family was those that do the will of the Father. Those were also His friends. The will of the Father is not that complicated to figurue out. We Americans just make things sound complicated. It’s to love God first and foremost and demonstrate that love for Him by letting His love flow through us into others. Love can change someone’s life by healing a broken and hardened heart. Jesus said He came to do His Father’s will and not His own. What would Jesus’s will be? Jesus didn’t think equality with God is something to be grasped. God’s will is to not pursue anything which points to yourself. Self-exaltation is what got Satan kicked out of the kingdom and he seeks to steal our lives, kill the soul, and destroy us in any way he can when we choose not to trust in God. God even told Cain if he mastered sin he wouldn’t be enslaved by it. The only way to master sin is to trust God, then then Holy Spirit empowers you. Your true friends and family also will love and accept you for who you are. If someone can’t and accept you then they will subconsciously seek to control you.
Ever wonder what constitutes a marriage? Society and most churches only recognize a couple as “married” if they have a marriage license. Although you can be married legally after living together for six months, or simply if your wife (or g/f) takes your last name. Living together and having sex creates an emotional bond that means you are married in God’s eyes whether you like it or not. Having a marriage license doesn’t mean a couple will connect emotionally. Many couples nowadays base love on physical attraction only and have no emotional depth. When the romance dies they find someone else and are usually driven by a spirit of lust rather than love. Couples that choose to live together and have sex don’t understand God’s priority in marriage and usually don’t have a deep commitment-meaning they consider divorce an option. A divorce is basically a breakup with legal consequences so if remarriage is a sin then anybody who has broken up with their high school sweetheart would have to commit to a life of celibacy because we’re only allowed one relationship in life and if that doesn’t work-oh well. Rigid and controlling view of God that leave no room for grace. If a relationhip fails, look at it as a learning curve rather than a failure. You have to work on any life-controlling issues (preferably before you enter into a relationship because they are hard when you are stable). Keep in mind marriage isn’t for everyone. It says in Corinthians that all things are permissable but not all things are beneficial. Not everything that’s good is good for each individual person. It’s a matter between the individual and God and should be settle with divine wisdom and two or more confirmations from others. Follow your heart but lead your heart or else your emotions will rule you and cause much humiliation. However if you are not in a right relationship with God thru faith in His Son you cannot follow your heart because you are still enslaved to your self-directed human nature which will always lead you into sin and bondage (the root of sin is not trusting God to lead).
A great debate in the Church today is the rise of single adults in the church. Marriage & Celibacy are both high callings in the Spiritual life, both require sacrifice, and what’s good for one is not good for the other. I’ve learned over the last year though that you can have a single-minded devotion to God and be married. In fact that’s the only way to make a marriage work. Focus on God and He will live thru you and be the person you need to be to your spouse. Your devotion to God could sanctify your mate if they are not believers and they will come to faith because of your faith in God. We are only responsible for ourselves in ou relationship to the Almighty but we are responible to the people He puts in our lives, to serve them and pray for them. As far as being single, there are many singles who should find a mate, unless you sincerely feel the call to singleness & celibacy, in which case God will remove your sexual desires because sexual sins are the most disastrous in the christian life. Here are some likely reasons why many christians are single late in life:
1) Beginning your relationship with God late in life. Many christians who have lasting marriages at a young age grew up in the church and developed a vibrant relationship with God during the adolescent years.
2) Some have life-controlling issues that would hinder a relationship if they were in one. Such as inability to commit which is common in many churches nowadays if you look at young adults and singles ministries. After they get out of high school, many college students and young professionals stray away from God for many years and get lost in the world.
3) Many are called to find a mate but doubt the call on their life because other brothers & sisters who are single tell them it’s just a human desire and it’ll go away as you focus on God.
4) Failure to step out in faith and actually look for a mate-i.e.; trusting God to do everything for you without any human responsibility.
5) Unable to date because one has tends to move too far too fast and ends up fornicating. This applies to any area of life. If you don’t have to freedom to do something without sinning then God will appear more rigid with you because He won’t allow you to do anything that will lead you into sin.
6) Not putting God first and seeking Him above all else to become the person you need to be in a relationship.
7) Being so focused on God that you don’t actually look for a mate. This can be good if you’re actually renouncing marriage for the sake of the Kingdom but if you’re so focused on God that you’re repressing desires that aren’t necessarily sinful it can lead to depression.
In closing, remember my life verse, Psalm 37:4. ..”Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desire of your heart.” This doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want but you should give up any desires that aren’t in keeping with God’s Word and ask for His plan for you life so you can step out in faith and do pursue what He wants for you. Seek Him first and all else will be added but you still have to factor in human responsibility.